The most important 15 minutes of any client relationship | GB58

In this episode of The Good Business Podcast, Illana Burk discusses the significance of the first 15 minutes of a client meeting or call in setting the tone, establishing boundaries, and building trust. Learn how to effectively utilize those initial minutes to set expectations and create a clear partnership with the client.

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Good Business is hosted by Illana Burk, CEO of Illana Burk Consulting llc and strategic coach and advisor to entrepreneurs, creative leaders, and industry disruptors the world over.

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Transcript

0:41

Welcome back to the Good Business Podcast. I am your host, Illana Burk, and I am so delighted to have you here with me today. Today, we are talking about the 15 most important minutes of a client relationship. And I know you're dying to know which 15 minutes we're talking about, and I'm not going to hold you in suspense. We are talking about the first 15 minutes of your very first call or meeting with any new client. So in this episode, we're going to be going over why this is so critical. What needs to be included in this time, and how to adjust if you miss a step. It's one of those funny things that, you know, we kind of all take for granted, like, I know how to do a greeting, I know how to start a thing, but it's actually kind of awkward, and it takes a little bit of finesse to get it right so that you can actually set yourself up for success. So, why is it so important to get it right? Because it's really your very first opportunity to set the tone, to set boundaries, to set mutual expectations, and getting it right means that your client's anxieties are waylaid, which are usually higher than you might realize when you start working with somebody. You can set mutual expectations on both sides, and you actually can build trust very, very quickly by showing them that like, You've got them. And that's really, really important. People have hired you and they want to know that, you've got their back and you have done this before and you know what you're doing and you know what their needs are before they even have to ask for those needs to be met. So there's a huge difference between showing up and asking a client to set their expectations and showing up ready to create a clear partnership. And the reason why you want a clear partnership is because the standard set of expectations when people enter into a client relationship in any kind of client relationship, that's going to be more than a one off or an actual, you know, or transactional, like I buy a product from you and you give me the product, right? We're talking about longer term client relationships where there's going to be at least, at least more than one meeting. The reason why you want it to be a partnership and you have to work to set it up that way is because when you don't, when you fail to, the default for relationships like that. is a transactional one. So basically, in the absence of working to do it well, the default is they're the customer and you're the purveyor. And there's all kinds of built up baggage and bullshit around what that actually means, right? there's, you know, the customer is always right, stuff packed in, there's, and it's like this weird hierarchical thing, like, I've forked over money, therefore I'm in charge and you have to do what I tell you to do. And if you don't dance for your dinner, then you're doing something wrong, right? That's kind of the old way of doing it. And that's how most people sort of regard it, whether they even want to or not. If you don't lead and if you don't work to build trust right from the jump, and if you don't set it up as we are both equal humans coming to this relationship, as equals. If you don't do the work to do that, you're going to end up in a hierarchical situation where at some point. Things are going to turn, and you're not going to enjoy being in a subservient position where you get treated like an employee, or you get treated like you are less than in some way. It's actually incredibly simple to do this right, so we're going to get to that part, right? But, falling short puts the client in the driver's seat, and that's tough, right? It's kind of like ordering an Uber and then the guy gets out and says, okay, you drive. Like, they don't actually want to be in the driver's seat of the whole situation. They want you to do that. They hire you because you're an expert and in whatever it is that you do. And they're eager and excited to be led. They're only eager and excited to be led for that one call. Right? If you don't show them that you can, all of that eagerness and excitement deflates almost immediately. So, because then they feel like they have to lead, and they have to somehow pick up the pieces or, or pick up the slack and tell you what they want, which, you lose the opportunity to tell them what you can do for them, by kind of letting them drive too quickly. So leading effectively right from the start validates their choice. It's the first step towards keeping the promises that you made. So it's a really, really important one. The other reason it's so critical to do this well is that in the first minutes that you're with a new client, when It's when they are at their absolute most excited, they're in their most supportive of you and your process, they are the most willing to go with your expertise and follow your lead because all that enthusiasm is built up. They see you as somebody who has the potential to solve a very big and meaty problem for them. So you don't want to waste that equity on small talk. Right? You want to make sure that you are using it to its highest level, because it's, it's what happens before any fear or judgment or critique sets in, like, deeper into a relationship when they kind of lose that sense of surety, where they're not 100 percent positive it's going the way it's supposed to go, or, or they are more prone to critiquing what you're doing and going, maybe this isn't what I wanted, right? All that stuff comes later. So you really want to leverage those first 15 minutes when they are at their absolute highest, right? They're just super excited to be there with you, as you are with them. So don't lose sight of that. Okay, so how do you get it right? First, you want to keep your greetings really brief at the beginning of the call. And then you need to take charge as quickly as possible. Once you get through the like, So how's the weather where you are, right? The, the dumb things that we all talk about when you're on a call or in a first meeting. It's like, So where are you in the world? And, and what's the weather like there? And golly, Zoom sucks, you know, like whatever it is that you, you do in the first 15 minutes of a call, usually it's like the same things over and over again. We all have this like weird, awkward start. So let it be weird and awkward, but then wrap that up very quickly. So you can say, okay, I want to get right to it because we have a lot of ground to cover. So the first thing you do is you tell them exactly how the call is going to go. Those of you who have heard me talk about how to do good consults, this is going to be kind of familiar to you. in anything that you're communicating with a potential client, or a client, or a group, you want to always do the age old thing, right? Tell them what you're going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them. Same goes for this. So tell them what's going to happen. Tell them how this is going to go. And the first part, you're going to say, okay, we're going to spend about 15 minutes talking through logistics so that we can set expectations, I can talk to you about boundaries, I'm going to go over some policy stuff, and that'll take 15 to 20 minutes. You'll have a chance to ask some questions, and then we're going to dive right into the work. Whatever the work is, right? So what you're saying is, Yes, we need to spend a little bit of foundational time, but it's not going to take up all the time. And then we are going to get into some meaty stuff on this first meeting. So that's the first thing that you're going to do is waylay that anxiety. You're going to orient them to the way the process is going to go. So that, and that can be set up in all different ways. This can be done in person where it's like, Hey, I'm here. if you do in home care or something, it can be. Hi, I'm so glad to be here with you. Here's how my visit's going to go. I'm going to spend a few minutes, we're going to talk through your expectations and what you're looking for and how I work and how this is going to function. I'm going to do it very succinctly and we're going to, so that you understand exactly how this is going to go, right? You can tailor this for your unique situation, but it absolutely can work for in person or online interactions. Next, you're going to create an outline for yourself for the logistics. So I still do this because I have ADHD and I will absolutely forget at least one thing on the list no matter how many times I've done it, I will always forget to say something. So I still sketch out a few bullet points before client calls, before my first client call, every single time. What I put on there is a little bit about what I know about the person, any, you know, pain points or concerns, any, red flags they might have mentioned on their consult, that sort of thing. if they have anything personal going on, like, I just want to make notes to myself, but then the meat of the logistics are, first you're going to cover boundaries. Then you're going to cover policies. Then you're going to cover relevant pet peeves. Then you're going to cover common questions. And then you're going to open the floor to how you're going to handle bumps in the road. Okay? So what that means, I'm going to go through those slower now and what all of those things are. So first, Boundaries. This is, the reason why it's the very first thing is because it's a little bit of like ripping the band aid off and you want to do that first. You want to jump into the deep end with somebody because that's part of how you build leadership and trust. And it's important to do these things with confidence and a steady tenor in your voice. You can't be wobbly. It can't be a bunch of ums. It can't be, well, if it's okay with you, we're going to talk about boundaries. It's, first, we're going to talk about boundaries, right? when we talk about boundaries in this context, this is going to be completely unique to you. You know, it's, your business hours. It's how, what they should expect from communication from you. They should get examples of how to communicate with you. and how long they should expect to wait before they hear back from you. It's boundaries as they affect your work, right? You can also talk about anything that you think might affect their, the work that feels worth mentioning about yourself at this point. So, one of the things that I talk about usually in this And this part of the call is that I do have ADHD and sometimes I miss details. So I always kind of make a joke of it at this section where I'm kind of going like, yeah, I'm definitely going to get to the end of the call and I'm going to remember the thing that I forgot in this portion. And we're going to have a really funny out of context thing that happens at the end of every call. And they laugh and I laugh and we recognize that this is a thing, but it's not the only thing. And I have a lot of systems in place that help. Support me and make sure that I don't drop tiny little balls along the way. At least as much as possible. next up, when you get to the policies, this is where you reiterate anything that you know people commonly ignore in your contract. anything that relates strictly to your business that you know is important for them to understand, but, frankly, nobody reads your contracts. Nobody reads anybody's contracts. And if they do, they don't put it into relevant practice in real time. They don't apply what they read in the contract to real life situations, unless you tell them how. So in this part, I actually kind of read part of my contract to them. Like, this is what we're agreeing to, this is how much time we're spending together, these are the expectations that I have for you, and these are the expectations you have for me. And In the policies and boundaries section, it kind of gets a little bit mushed up, but one of the things that I talk about, is that we are coming to this call as equals. I need you as much as you need me, right? It's, there's no hierarchy here. I can't do my job without your help, and you can't get what you need without my help. there might be times where somebody in your life is more important. Then our work together and vice versa. I have a child. She's always going to be more important than my work. And here's how I'm going to handle that if something goes wrong, right? So that's something that is, is really, really key. And I've talked about this on other episodes as well. But it's amazing how refreshing it is when somebody hears that. When you actually say My kid is more important to me than you are. It makes them kind of go, Well, that's actually completely reasonable. You know? It's just we have decades of, you know, quote unquote customer service habits built up that are completely antithetical to actual human equity. So you're modeling how you want to be treated by stating that those things are true for you. If the, if other things are true for you, you know, if you live on a farm, and you, have animals, and that's something that might take you away and cause you to have to reschedule, or you have a very full life, or you live in a place where internet is wobbly, these are things that just are part of the package that you come with. It's okay to state them right up front. Hiding them will always bite you in the ass. Always. So don't hide them. Now there is one piece of this that I think is important to note. Things that feel personal, things that are of a medical nature, things that are, traumas that you are actively in, do not have to be shared any more than you feel. The reason why I'm mentioning this is that sometimes it's like when I teach this to people, they go, Oh, okay. That's a green light. Like I'm going to just dump out all of my stuff. There's a line between what is relevant and what is oversharing. If it's crossing over into, and I have this, and I have that, and I have this, then it's going to start to do the absolute opposite, and it's going to erode their confidence in your ability to follow through on your promises. So you have to be very careful about this, right? It's And if you do share, you can't share anything without also sharing the ways in which you're going to mitigate the effects of those things on the person sitting in front of you. Because at the end of the day, they are paying you, that was a big decision, it was hard for them to part with their money, and you owe them that. So show them that you've got this. Say, I deal with chronic pain, but here's the three ways that I manage it. I have a VA who helps me stay organized. I plan gaps in between my calls so that I have time to rest. And I find that over the years I've figured out how to do my very best work with the schedule that I have in front of me. So I don't expect that it will affect you all that much, but it has been known to happen. that I've had to cancel a call at the last minute. If I do, here's how I'm gonna make it right. So that when it happens, you can call back to this first moment with them. You can say, remember that thing we talked about? Here it is. And they feel like you've got their back, and that's key. Okay, so next up is relevant pet peeves. for me, I, I have a weird pet peeve when somebody shows up like, three minutes late and they don't say anything about it. I can handle people showing up late, but when they show up late and pretend they're not late, I literally, I like, see red in my brain and I can't focus anymore and I'm basically useless. It's completely irrational. It comes from my own past traumas and childhood stuff of, you know, being forgotten, whatever, right? We all have our stuff. But if I don't say it, I'm going to just sit there and stew. So I tell people, I have this weird, irrational thing. If you show up three minutes late, just acknowledge it and say, Hey, sorry, I'm late. And then I'm fine. I'm like, it's okay. And I'll be like, Hey, do you have any of those things? Is there anything about communication that just drives you crazy? Is there anything I should look out for so that I can make sure I'm meeting your needs along the way? You will learn amazing things about your clients that will help you so much to avoid pitfalls and avoid tripping over your own feet. I've heard all kinds of things. Like, I really, really hate it when I have a meeting with somebody and they don't follow up with any kind of like, here's what we covered or anything like that, because then I don't know if there's common, you know, common communication. I've gotten all kinds of great feedback like that. So it's really great to know what. people's pain points are. Some people have been badly burned by other people in your very industry. So you want to hear that stuff. So you want to open a moment to talk about that. That's where you do that. The next step is common questions. Now this is completely unique to your industry. You need to know what those are. What are the things that everybody asks? This is where you waylay final anxieties before you dive into the work. You know, it's where you say, um, one of the things that my clients are always concerned about is, you know, if you're a photographer, it's when am I going to get my pictures back? So here's my turnaround time right now. And here's the things that affect my turnaround time. So that they know that right from the beginning. If you know that every single client asks the same stuff Put it in a little quick Q& A at the beginning and say these are the top three questions I get over and over. They will think you're a mind reader. And that's what you want. And then the last part is you're gonna have a collaborative back and forth about how to open, you're gonna kind of open the floor to how you're gonna handle bumps in the road. if you're a designer and you're gonna give them a design, how are you gonna handle it if they hate it? What will you do for them? What's the next step? How many iterations do they get? What do you do, what happens if they hate all three iterations that they get and they still hate it? If you're not going to give them a refund at that point, or you are going to give them a refund, or you're going to be somebody who just iterates until they like it, You need to tell them all of that up front. Even if it was in your contract, these are the things that you need to re address. So how do you handle anything going wrong? This is where you say, we both are adults with boundaries. We both are adults with needs. So if you're speaking to me in a way that doesn't feel good, I'm going to speak up, and I'm not going to be precious about it, and I'm not going to be abusive about it. I'm not going to be angry, and I expect the same from you. We treat each other with mutual respect no matter what. We're all grown ups here. Something to that effect, right? And you ask them if there's anything that you should know about how they handle Unexpected moments. And ask them to self reflect a little bit. Again, very illuminating. Kind of along the same line as the pet peeves piece. Okay, so you also want to finish this little logistics conversation, and finish your outline by reminding yourself to leave room for correction. And that was that thing I talked about at the beginning, hey, I have ADHD and I'm going to miss a point or two. At the end of the call, I'm going to leave myself five minutes, just in case I think of it, okay? And they're going to say, okay, so it's a good idea if you're somebody who maybe doesn't always check all the boxes to leave yourself an opening for that so that it doesn't feel like an afterthought later. It shows them that you know yourself and you know what's important to them, which is just to know what's coming. People don't like unpredictable situations when they just gave you a big pile of money. So you want to make everything as predictable as you can, so that they understand what the outcomes are that they're after. So that's covering how to prepare yourself to make that 15 minutes successful. So the idea of all of that is to frame out the edges of your working relationship so the person is left with a clear sense of equity. You need them as much as they need you. Your goal is to help them feel like they can fully trust both you and the process they signed up for. So the most important thing to leave them with is that if anything goes wrong, you've got them and that you're going to confront issues head on. You're going to be direct, you're going to be clear, and you're going to be compassionate in how you communicate because that's your core value. If you're listening to this, I would assume it is anyway. So that's basically it, right? So we talked through why this is important, how to create an outline for yourself, and what all the steps are to making that first 15 minutes successful. That's how you do it. And I hope you guys enjoy the process, practice, and I hope it makes your client relationships far more fruitful. Thanks for your time and attention, everyone. I hope you have a great day. Bye.